Twisted Tragedies

Celebration.

Three years of study. It seems like a long time, and it has been. I have grown so much as an individual, learnt so many more things about life than what was ever in my books, and realised that life doesn’t generally get better as you grow up.

I learnt that people are just as rude and inherently selfish as you would imagine them to be. Friends you loved can be lost, even as they still physically exist. Lovers will tell you stories of their wanton desire, then wake up the next morning and disappear as someone else.

You can choose to fight the resounding fact that there are always people better than you, or accept it. You will never understand physical attraction, and you may never well be a part of it. And becoming attached to anybody new will only lead to pain.

After what would be the last assessment for most of my peers, I imagine only happiness and joy and euphoric outbursts of relief. Relief?

Relief from what?

The three most careless years of your life that you will never get back? The three years you didn’t have to worry about making it to work on time or paying the bills or staying at the same desk every single goddamn day for 8 hours, looking at the same computer, doing the same work, typing and typing and typing and typing and saying hi to the same dull people, accepting their tokens of sympathy in the form of stale crackers, eating the same lunch, going home and sitting on the same sofa and watching the screen until your face falls off, only to wake up the next morning in the same nightmare.

Why, yes that is a relief.

Welcome to the world, I am so sorry studying was hard for you. Good luck to doing it every fucking day.

But they are none the wiser. They tear papers into confetti and make plans for parties for more song and dance.

Shouldn’t you be planning it as the final time you will probably ever hang out these people? After this it’s new jobs, new friends, new countries… does anyone make a conscious decision to keep in touch? Doesn’t it bother you that the people you have grown to love and cherish will soon disappear and forget about you? Doesn’t it bother you that you will awake in a new environment no longer surrounded by your friends, your house mates, and maybe even someone you love?

If it doesn’t - great. Why should it? It only bothers people like me who refuse to see the bright side in things (does it even exist?) and it shouldn’t bother you. I am possibly just the biggest downer in the history of people.

Maybe I am the only one who sees it this way.